20 Items or Less

Today I made the first real trip to buy groceries since the nest emptied. The familiar landscape of my local Wal-Mart seemed bewildering. The aisles that had been such a comfort to me because they yielded the ingredients for happy family dinners seemed devoid of inspiration. Gone were the pot roasts of my imagination, the lasagnes, the roast beef with mashed potatoes and gravy. Not present in the light bulb of my head were the hearty casseroles, quiche lorraines, fried rice, and chicken enchiladas that my hands knew so intimately. Not a thought was given to homemade brownies or sugar cookies or chocolate macaroons.

I smiled at families gathering lunch goodies for the kids. The aisles were crowded at mid-afternoon, but I felt lost. For some reason I don't remember the grandmas who were widows pushing carts with fewer items than mine contained. I always noticed the single senior citizens before. I always wondered about their selections. Have I blended right in? Am I experiencing a Sixth Sense moment?

I didn't even need to buy beer, wine, coffee, or chocolate because I have those left over from the apres-wedding dinner at my house.

Tell me I'm real. And don't tell anyone about the pizza.