Spring Break in Berkeley!

Even though it's been more than a month since I've been back from my trip to the Bay Area, it hasn't gotten any easier to sort through more than 450 photos to pick some to post!  I visited my son, who is an electrical engineering grad student at UC Berkeley.  He and his Russian roommate rented a small bungalow in Oakland late last year.

The first evening, we went to NightLife at the California Academy of Sciences (museum of natural history) in Golden Gate Park.  Even though it was dark and I couldn't see the plants, I could smell so many delightful fragrances as we walked through the park toward the museum.  The building is stunning and was engineered to be environmentally friendly.  It has a green roof, rainwater collection, natural lighting, and was made of many recycled materials.  The aquarium was fantastic, and it was definitely fun to tour with a drink in hand!

Shark stomach contents, haha!

I'm standing in a plexiglass dome under a reef display.

The next morning we went to campus, and the weather was perfect.  Berkeley is the most beautiful college campus I've ever seen.  The buildings, scenery, and landscaping are awesome!  It's cool at night but it never freezes, so it's a plant-lover's paradise!  Fragrances really carry in the cool, moist air, and they add so much to the whole experience of being there.  Lunch was wonderful Indian food and chai tea on the Beau Sky Hotel terrace; then we stopped in some shops along Telegraph Avenue.  We also went to the Berkeley Bowl for some food and drink, and had a nice cookout in the back yard.

My son in his office designing electrical circuits

London plane trees on the plaza near the Campanile

So many tulips!

The Campanile and Cal Bears!

Colorful stucco wall with plates on Telegraph Ave.

Blooming aloes as street plantings on campus!

Endless beer aisle at the Berkeley Bowl  :)

Backyard succulents 

The next day we went to the Napa Valley and toured two wineries and went to the Yountville Mustard Festival.  I think it was that day that I fell in love with the whole lifestyle there.  The countryside and the towns were so idyllic.  The grapevines were just starting to grow out, and looked so neat on their trellises.  Spring flowers were in bloom everywhere.

Beringer Vineyards.  Weeping cherry and azaleas.

Rhine House at Beringer Vinyards

Cakebread Cellars

View from the tasting room at Cakebread

Wisteria arbor at Yountville

My visit would not have been complete without a trip into San Francisco.  The last time I was there, for Thanksgiving 2008, we went on a rainy day and got chilled to the bone.  This time the weather was incredible.  We walked through the Botanical Garden and the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park, went to the Golden Gate Bridge, and ate dinner on an upstairs balcony at Boudin Bakery.  The sourdough bread and halibut were memorable.  We just had to go to the Buena Vista for Irish coffee, because two visits is the start of a tradition!  Last visit, we needed the warmth.  This time, I got the recipe.  :)

San Francisco Botanical Garden (camellias in the background)

Japanese Tea Garden

Buddhist pagoda-style gateway

Cherry blossoms!

Picture perfect day at the Golden Gate Bridge

View from the balcony at Boudin Bakery and Restaurant

Ahhh ...

The last day of the trip, I had tea and sushi at Ozumo Japanese Restaurant in Oakland.  The food was as beautiful as it was delicious, and the Japanese craftsmanship of the restaurant itself is incredible.  Later that day my son, his roommate, and I went on a hike in Redwood Regional Park.  It was late in the day and I couldn't get any good photos, but I loved what I saw, and now I know what it's like to stand in a cathedral of trees.

Temporary

My daughter and her dad, August 1980

Nothing about this past week has been easy, but it has caused me to be intensely thankful for the gift of life.  My ex-husband passed away, and though we had been divorced 28 years, I count myself blessed to have known him.  He gave me a daughter, the same daughter who got married last September and who is pregnant and due about July 1st.  Part of the grief she is experiencing is the fact that her dad will never know his grandchild.  It seems doubly tragic, as her step-sister is also pregnant.  So while I wait for my first grandchild, my ex will miss his first two grandbabies.

My ex was a college professor, a herpetologist by training, and was known as a gifted and enthusiastic teacher who spent vast amounts of time helping his students.  He was happily married, and proud to be Dad to three daughters, one of his own and two of his wife's.  My daughter sometimes said that her stepmother was a saint to put up with him.  I think he was well aware of his faults, so it was necessary to balance them with an abundance of love for his family.  My daughter was definitely a daddy's girl.  I could never compete with that and never tried.

The few people at school who knew that we were married so long ago have been kind toward me, and I've been glad for the hugs and condolences.  I never imagined how I would take the news of his death.  He had been sick with leukemia and had not been able to teach for about a year.  Hopes were high that he could get well enough for a bone marrow transplant, but he was not able to recover from the last infection he contracted.  I felt very sad, and found myself thinking back on our time together.  My grief is very real and substantial for my daughter's loss, his family's loss, and the loss of a man who was clearly loved by so many.  His family, friends, students, and long-ago former students had filled his online page with prayers while he was ill, and tributes are pouring in after his passing.  It has been a beautiful thing to get a sense of the far-reaching impact of his life all these years later.

We were married soon after I got my bachelor's degree.  We had some very happy times, but we were too young and inexperienced and ego-driven to fare well through the bad fights and horrid times.  After some counseling (I guess you could say the counselor wasn't successful), we parted amicably, and the divorce wasn't stressful, although I suspect that he didn't miss an opportunity to make fun of me.  He was good at that ... it was part of his humor, along with raunchy jokes and clever word play.  Apparently he told his students that he thought Edema would be a beautiful name for a girl.  And he told all the new students that one of the other instructors had a glass eye and not to stare.

My daughter tells me that on his deathbed, my ex spoke out to say that my son (by my second husband) should get his Ph.D.   I always thought it was so sweet that my ex and his wife would show up for my son and cheer for him at the high school football games.  If I had to pinpoint his best quality, I would say that he possessed an extraordinary capacity for loving kindness and encouragement toward others.  This he got from his family, especially his mother, whom I dearly loved.  He had to have it to balance the more temperamental aspects of his personality!  To call him a rascal would be an understatement.

My personal journey has brought me to the place where I learned that forgiveness is a great blessing that enabled me to move forward; and that others' actions toward me are not caused by me but are a reflection of their own dramas.  Long ago the relationship with my ex caused great frustration and heartache, but the lessons learned were ones that I needed.  So here I am today, remembering his life and his contributions with fondness, feeling the loss, but most of all, feeling the trickle-down effects of a life lived with passion, a temporary life that ended too soon, but a life that raised the bar for many and inspired countless others to go all out, to invest in themselves and their potential. 

  "No matter where you go, there you are."

He's turning over rocks in God's garden now.

Snow Day!

On February 23rd we had a snow day, and school closed for the afternoon!  It snowed all day, even though the temperature rose enough by afternoon to cause some melting.  The snowflakes were big and fluffy, and in places the snow was ankle deep.  I loved the crunch and squeak of the powder!  It's so beautiful to see this type of snow here.  The transformation was magical!

This picture has a fairy tale quality to me. Chiquita is busy investigating!

The wild garden doesn't look like this very often!

The back road by the wild garden

Spanish dagger

Coral honeysuckle

Texas buckeye

Redbud tree in front of the house

The mailbox garden

Red yuccas covered in snow

Agarita with flower buds

The neighbor's scarlet quince

Pansies 

Sedum palmeri the day after the snowfall

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've been feeling a little "under the weather" lately.  I've spent the last two weeks training a new person at work, and I'm not used to talking 9 hours a day or being shadowed 40 hours/week.  It's been tiring, plus the weather's been bad, plus this is my first Valentine's Day alone.  Usually the kids are around, but this year I have no one to gift with chocolate.  :(

But it's nothing that a little sunshine, shopping, and dancing won't cure!!!  Yesterday I decided to actually leave the house (gasp) and go birthday shopping for my best friend and my daughter.  I hit the jackpot at a store called Brickwood Boutique in Temple!

 

Yes!  My daughter is having a boy, and since her birthday is coming up soon, I bought this for her!

The gift wrap is a free service at Brickwood!  This is my daughter's picture frame.

This one is a bracelet and pair of earrings for my friend.

And last but not least, a gift for me, from the clearance table!

I had a great time at the Friday night dance at In the Mood Ballroom.  On Saturday I got a last minute invite to the Stardust Monthly Ballroom Dance at the C.A.C. in Temple, so I went to that, too!  The dancer who told me about it used to teach, so it was wonderful to have the benefit of his knowledge and encouragement.  I'm discovering through the connections I'm making that there's an active community of dancers in the Temple/Killeen/Waco area.  Could have gone to another dance this afternoon in Waco, but I have class at 6:00 tonight, so I declined.  I have to save some energy for the cha cha tonight!!!

I got invited to a dance in Waco next Saturday, and there are some salsa lessons beforehand.  The instructors are from Harker Heights, so it will be fun to meet them.  Yay!

I'm getting a sense of what dancing means to people of all ages and abilities.  The most heartwarming people to watch are the old-timers who show up even if they are widows or widowers.  I think I danced with a 90-year old man last night, and although his steps weren't strong, he was having a blast!

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!  Let's dance!!!

Happy Feet

I just returned from a private dance lesson at In the Mood Ballroom!  Now guys, don't give me grief about the socks with my pretty dance shoes;  it's cold outside, and I just couldn't make myself wear a dress today.  I was planning on it, but the weather didn't cooperate!

The instructor was really good.  He was very patient, funny, and gave me a lot of insider information that I would never have picked up on my own.  My dancing has been limited to country and western styles at the local SPJST halls, and that was a long time ago.  Today's lesson was a sampler.  We danced foxtrot, waltz, cha-cha-cha, rumba, and tango.  I was just a wee bit nervous and tense, and Rudy developed a nice way to tell me that I was gripping his hand too hard and that his fingers were turning blue!  He blew on my hand, LOL!  Also, he told me to BREATHE!  I had a great time and he said I did well.  Besides the basic steps to all the dances, I learned some turns and promenades.

I'm signed up for the rumba group lesson on Tuesday night, then I'll go to the Ballroom Dance on Friday February 12th.  The package that I bought for $24.95 includes one private lesson, one group lesson, and free admission to a Friday night dance.  I'm not sure yet how many more lessons I can afford, but I know I'll enjoy being a student!  Who knows, maybe this will turn into a regular Friday night out!  I'm so glad that my friend talked me into this!